Episode 300: 7 Tips to Help You Communicate with Your Spouse About Your Dream to Quit Your 9-5

Full Episode Transcription:

Arianna Vernier: Are you struggling with having a dream on your heart to quit your nine to five, but you’re not really sure how to get your spouse on board with that idea? I have been in your shoes. I actually remember one of my husband and I’s biggest fights, and yes I got permission from him to share this, back before we even had kids. We were newly married and I don’t even remember how we got on the subject. I think I was just burnt out with teaching and talking about how like in the future I would love to just be a stay at home mom with our kids, and he basically just told me that that was not a possibility. And as much as I knew that like with our dreams of paying off all our student loans and being able to travel as much as we wanted to, like I knew deep down that, yes, we did need my income, but actually like hearing him say like, no, you can’t just be a stay at home mom, that broke my heart. And I was not nice about it. We got in a really big fight. But since that time, I’ve been able to find the best of both worlds. I’m able to work from home and have my babies around me a ton more than I would have when I was teaching and just be present for them. And I know that if that’s a dream on your heart or even if kids aren’t involved, if you just want to quit your 9 to 5 and do something else, it is possible for you and it is possible to get your spouse on board. You really just have to remember that you and your spouse. that you should be a team. You don’t always have to agree with each other, but you do always have to support each other. So in this episode, I want to share with you seven tips to help you communicate with your spouse about your dream to quit your nine to five.

So let’s just go ahead and jump in. Number one. The first tip to help you communicate with your spouse about quitting your nine to five is to come to the table with a game plan. So if you know what you want to do, if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably interested in the virtual assistant world. So if you know, Hey, I’m interested in becoming a virtual assistant, come to the table with your husband and share what program you’re looking at investing in here, why you think it would help you share how. This would actually help you to hit your goals. Coming to the table with the goals you’ve set for your income, timelines on how long you think it’s going to take you to get to that goal, where the money could come from for that investment. When you come to the table with that, you’ve already got a game plan and he can help you iron out the details rather than just coming to him being like, Hey, I want to do this thing, but I don’t know how. Can you help me figure it out? That’s going to feel really overwhelming to him. He already probably is kind of cautious because he doesn’t really know what the virtual assistant world means.

And so coming to him with that game plan is going to answer a lot of the questions he already has about like, how are you going to figure this out? And then you guys can just talk through the details more together. The second tip to help you communicate with your spouse about quitting your nine to five is to plan out that time to chat. So yes, have a game plan for when you guys are gonna sit down, but don’t just like spring it on him that you want to talk about this. You can approach him and be like, hey, Babe, I really wanted to talk to you about something that I’ve been thinking about. I know that this is probably going to be a longer conversation, and I didn’t want to just spring it on you.

When would be a good time this week for us to chat? And maybe if you give him like two or three different options. That way he’s like prepared and like he might ask, you know, what is this about and you can just like briefly tell him But just say like I really want to show you everything I’ve been like looking at and thinking through And I want to have like I want us to be able to really talk through this And then you can schedule out that time because if you just bring it on him Like he’s probably going to not have any time to process And he might end up saying things that are discouraging to you when he didn’t really mean it And so just be prepared giving him that heads up like, hey, I want to talk about this. That’s gonna help him a lot. Tip number three to help you communicate with your spouse about quitting your nine to five is don’t fight. This can be kind of hard, but if your spouse is like nervous and just worried, you can’t fight with him about it. You can’t, Force him to trust and believe in what you’re doing. And I know this is so hard because I definitely fight hard for what I believe in, even if my spouse is not on the same page, but it’s just really important that if you start to feel yourself like getting triggered, when you guys are having this conversation and that he. He’s just not understanding where you’re coming from and he’s not believing in what you want to do.

You got to just like take a breath and remember, like it might take time for him to get on the same page. If he is not familiar with whatever you’re diving into, whether it’s virtual assistants or something else, then he’s just going to be extra cautious because his role is protector. His role is to take care of you. And if he doesn’t know what. This is that you’re wanting to pursue. He doesn’t know how to help you and that’s gonna be hard for him. So just remember that and if you If you find that you guys are starting to like get anxious and like, not be kind to each other during the conversation, then you need to put the brakes on it and say, Hey, can we talk about this a different time when we’re able to communicate a little better? Now, tip number four is kind of related, but it’s to be positive and to honor and respect him. So I want you to think about what it would mean to you to have his support and say that to him and make sure you frame it positively. So you can say something like, Hey babe, it means so much to me when you support me, even if you don’t really know what I’m trying to do.

I know you have a lot on your plate, and I’m so grateful for all that you do for us. I would love to chat through this dream I have to become a virtual assistant and get your view on it. That really shows him that you care about his opinion, you want his input, and you respect that opinion, okay? Men love to feel respected, and so if you frame it that way, he’s probably going to be much more receiving of that idea.

Now, tip number five is to be patient. Getting your spouse on board with your dream to quit your 9 5, it might not happen overnight. It might have to be multiple conversations. Your spouse might not just say, yeah, go invest in that program right now. They might say something like, okay, maybe you can, you know, sell some things in the house we don’t use anymore to make that investment, or to earn enough money for that investment. They might have something that they want you to do, and you have to be open to that, and be patient and understand that it might take time for this to actually happen. Tip number six is if your spouse is really not on board and they’re just like not understanding at all, I want to say this carefully, but tip number six is to do whatever you want to do anyway. Just start working towards it anyway. That doesn’t mean go quit your nine to five without your husband’s, you know, permission or not permission, but like without him being on the same page. That’s probably not going to go well. I’m not saying to go out and do it against his will, but if you have different goals and aspirations than he does, and he sees how hard you’re working towards this, he’s more likely to be supportive.

If he sees you taking some steps to start your virtual assistant business and doing this on the side 5, Until you get to the point where your income’s enough in your business to leave your nine to five. He’s gonna be more supportive. So you can totally start this as a side hustle while you figure out the logistics of quitting your job and your husband is a lot more likely to be supportive when he sees your drive towards it, towards that goal and also when he sees your success with it. The last tip, tip number seven, is the most important tip Pray about it. You have to believe in what God’s calling you to do and you have to pray like you believe it Even if it’s like, okay God, I know you’re calling me to do this, but I don’t know how it’s gonna work But I’m trusting in you that’s still believing. Okay? So just pray for your spouse to support you, to believe in you. You’ll be amazed by how God can work in your life through your prayers if you just come to him with them. All right, so real quick, let me just recap those seven tips to help you communicate with your spouse about your dream to quit your 9 to 5. Number one, come to the table with a game plan. Two, is plan a time to chat. Don’t spring it on him. Three, Number three is don’t fight. Number four is to be positive and to honor and respect your spouse. Be patient is number five. Remember that it may not happen overnight. Tip number six is to carefully do it anyway.

Don’t just quit your job, but you know start making those steps towards your goals. And then tip number seven is to pray about. All of it, the whole thing, getting your spouse on board about your journey, just every little thing. All right. If you guys want help with getting your virtual assistant business going, if that’s something that’s been on your heart, then I invite you to my free workshop where I’ll teach you the five P’s to become a successful virtual assistant. When the workshop’s done, I also send you the PDF of all the slides. So you can actually go to your husband and show him those slides and talk through it. And it’ll probably answer a lot of his questions as well. So you can register for that workshop at ariannavernier.com/free-workshop. You can also find that link in the show notes, but I think it will help you in answer a lot of your questions as well as your husband’s. All right, y’all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode and we will see you next time.