Episode 91: Can I Become a Virtual Assistant Even if My Husband Doesn’t Understand? 7 Tips for Getting Your Spouse to Support You As You Quit Teaching

Full Episode Transcription:

(00:07):
Hey sister-friends. Welcome back to the Ditch the Classroom podcast. Before we jump into today’s episode, which I know y’all are gonna love. I wanna let you know that we have a five day series coming up here on the podcast in two weeks, it’s gonna be the five steps to become a virtual assistant. So you’ll be able to tune in each day here on the show and get a quick tip for what you can do to really start your virtual assistant business. So you can quit teaching, replace your teaching income and start working from home with your babies. So I’m super excited for that. Make sure you tune back in again, that’s happening in two weeks today. I wanna talk to you about how to get your spouse to support your dream of quitting teaching and becoming a virtual assistant. And I wanna start with a little story.

(01:40):
I still remember one of my husband and I’s biggest fights, and hopefully he is okay with me sharing this on this show, but it really wasn’t about him. It was about me. We were talking about my dream to become a stay-at-home mom in the future. This was pre-kids. We were like very newly married and he basically said he didn’t think that was possible because with all the goals that we had for getting debt free and all the vacations we wanna be able to do, and just all of our big dreams that we wanted in the future, that just wasn’t going to be possible on just his income. And deep in my heart I knew that, but at the same time, it just broke my heart because I knew I wanted to be able to pour into my babies and spend so much time with them, especially while they’re little, cuz they’re only little once.

(02:36):
And it just crushed me for him to say that I wasn’t going to be able to do that. But you know, becoming a virtual assistant has given me that. It’s given me the ability to work around my kiddo’s lives. It’s given me the ability to spend time with them and design my business around my life and not the other way around. But one very, very crucial part of that has been my husband’s support along the way. And I know a lot of you are wondering how do I get my spouse to support this dream of quitting teaching? Because maybe you’ve been doing it for a while. You have, you know, a really good paycheck coming in. That’s in your eyes and in your husband’s eyes, stable. And maybe you’re afraid to lose that. Maybe he’s afraid to lose that. Maybe the idea of change is really scary for him and for you.

(03:36):
And so you guys need to be on the same page and as a team. Now, my husband and I, we don’t always agree, but we always support each other. And so sometimes that doesn’t look like, you know, if I come to him with an idea, he’s gonna help talk me through it. And we’ll kind of both come to the conclusion of whether it’s a good idea or not, but he’s not gonna flat out say like, no, that’s a shitty idea. We’ll talk through it. And so I want to help you kind of have that relationship with your spouse because communication is so incredibly crucial to you. Being able to be a virtual assistant, cuz you need someone that is supporting you, backing you, especially for the time where you get a little bit discouraged. You wanna know that your spouse is in your corner. So I’m gonna walk you through seven kind of “tips” to get your spouse, to support you more in your journey, to quitting teaching and becoming a virtual assistant.

(04:39):
So number one is when you’re introducing this idea to him of quitting teaching and becoming a VA, make sure you come to the table with a game plan, have an idea of what you wanna talk to him about. Share with him, why you’re wanting to do this. What dream has God place on your heart, what’s struggles are you facing? You can be really open and vulnerable here. You can also share how you’re going to make this dream come true so you can share the goals. You’ve set timelines for hitting those goals. Where the money will come from for this investment. If you’re investing in a course. Maybe you have a plan to show him like, “Hey, I’m not gonna go to Starbucks at all this month. I’m just gonna make my coffee from home. I figured it out. That’ll save me about this much money. And that should be enough for the payment, for the course.” Something like that. Maybe you can cut back on your spending that month. Something, just show him that you have a game plan and you’re not just like, “I don’t know where this is supposed to come from, you figure that out.” You know, show him that you really thought this through. And if you’re thinking about investing in a course, share with him the course. Walk him through the sales page of what is all included and talk through how you think it’s going to be beneficial for you in saving you time, saving you money down the road, cuz it’s gonna teach you all the skills you need to know, all of that. So like I said, come to the table with a game plan. Don’t just like throw this at him and not have a plan for what you’re gonna wanna talk about.

(06:14):
And then number two, kind of to off of number one, is plan a time to chat with him. Don’t just spring it on him. If he comes home from a long work day and you’re like, “Babe, I’m quitting teaching and becoming a virtual assistant.” He’s gonna be like, excuse me. So maybe just set aside a time with him that would work best for him. And so you can come to him, be like, “Hey babe, I really wanna talk to you about kind of this dream that God’s been placing on my heart of what I wanna do next in my career. But I really want you to be open and ready to listen and chat this through with me. So I don’t wanna spring it on you when would be a good time for us to chat this through.” And so he might be like, “Now is a good time.” Or he might say, you know, “I’m really tired today. Can we do this Friday afternoon after the kids go to bed?” Or whatever. And you can also give him a couple options too that you think might work well when you present this to him.

(07:12):
Tip number three. When you come to the conversation, don’t come being combative. Don’t fight with him. You can’t force him to be supportive. I know I fight so incredibly hard for what I believe in. And sometimes if I hear a little bit of that, you know, worry, I take it as he’s not believing in me. Just come with an open mind, come with an open heart and try as hard as you can not to be combative, cuz that’s not going to get you to the end goal that you want.

(07:45):
And if you see that it’s starting to go in that direction, you can call for a time out and say, “Hey, I think we’re kind of disagreeing right here. I wanna take some time to think about, you know, what I really want out of this. Can we take a out and come back to this conversation tomorrow at this time?” Or whatever. Okay. Just make sure you’re not coming and fighting during this conversation cuz that’s not gonna get you to the goal that you want.

(08:11):
And then four kind of a spinoff of that is be positive and honor and respect him in the conversation. So let him know what it would mean to you to have his support and frame it positively. So you can say something like, “Hey babe, it means so much to me when you support me, I know you have a lot on your plate and I’m so grateful for all that you do for us. I would love to chat through this dream that I have to become a virtual assistant and get your view on it and see what you think and how you think it’ll impact our family.” Okay? So that’s just a really positive way to frame it. It’s not, you know, throwing any blame on him that you’re feeling this way for wanting to quit teaching. It’s showing him that you really just appreciate him for all he does. And that makes him want to be more supportive of these ideas.

(09:04):
Number five is to be patient. So he may not say yes overnight. He may need some time to think about it. He may need, you know, 24 hours. He may need a week. He may need a month. Give him that time. And just, you know, if you don’t come to a conclusion in the first conversation, maybe say at the end of it, “okay, when can we circle back and talk through this again, when would be a good time to like check back in with each other on this?” Because that may lets him know that you’re not letting it go, but you to give him the time to really think it through.

(09:38):
Number six and this is kind of funny, do it anyway. I’m not saying go out and become a virtual assistant against your husband’s will, but you have different goals and aspirations than he does. And if he sees how hard you’re working towards this, he is more likely to be supportive. Even if he doesn’t fully understand it. If he starts seeing the income coming in, he’s more likely to be supportive. So you can start working as a virtual assistant as a side hustle. While you figure out the logistics of quitting teaching. As he sees you starting to land clients and learning these skills and just being lit up about this. He’s more likely to wanna say, “yes, let’s go all in on this.”

(10:27):
And then number seven. So incredibly crucial is to pray about it. Pray for your husband’s support and pray like you believe that this is exactly what you’ve been called to do, pray with the confidence that this is what God’s calling you to do, because if he’s placed this dream on your heart, it’s there for a reason. And he’s even if he doesn’t answer it directly with the answer that you’re looking for, he’s going to answer it in some way. And so if you just start taking action and taking those steps and praying about it, God’s going to lead you and he’s going to most likely have your spouse support you and follow you and give you that yes, that you’re looking for. So make sure that you’re praying about it as you are trying to get your spouse on board with your ditch the classroom journey.

(11:24):
All right. So real quick, let’s kind of recap these tips for getting your spouse on board with you quitting teaching and becoming a virtual assistant. Number one, come to the table with a game plan. Number two, plan a time to chat. Don’t spring it on him. Number three, don’t fight. And number four, be positive and honor and respect him in your conversation. Number five is be patient. Number six is do it anyway and start it as a side hustle till you can prove to your husband that this is gonna work. And then number seven is to pray about it.

(12:04):
All right. Y’all I hope that these tips were helpful. Let me know if you have any questions as always, you can come into our free Facebook community, facebook.com/groups/ditchtheclassroom. And let me know if you have any questions about, you know, maybe a struggle you’re having with getting your spouse on board and I’d be happy to help. Also, if you’re loving this podcast, it would make my heart so incredibly happy. If you would take the time to come and leave a review, because that is what helps show iTunes, Apple Podcast, whatever they’re called Spotify, everywhere that you listen to podcasts, it shows them that this podcast is important and gets it on a search page when people are coming and searching for these topics.

(12:45):
I know so many moms and teachers who can use this information to help them meet their dreams of being with their babies. And I just want us to be able to get this message out there. So you leaving that review would be so incredibly helpful to me and it would just make my heart so happy. So go to Apple Podcast or wherever you listen, leave a five star review. You can write a couple sentences about what this podcast has helped you with, what it’s done for you. What it’s meant to you, and it would bless me greatly. All right. Y’all I love you so much and we will see you next episode.