Episode 322: Are You Self-Sabotaging in Your Virtual Assistant Business?

Full Episode Transcription:

Arianna Vernier: Question for you. Are you self sabotaging yourself in your virtual system business? Are you? Are you not sure? Dictionary. com defines self sabotage as the act or habit of behaving in a way that interferes directly with one’s own goals, well being, relationships, etc. As a verb, self sabotage is defined as behaving especially habitually or compulsively in a way that interferes directly with your goals, well being, and relationships. So when you hear that, you’re probably thinking you don’t ever want to intentionally self sabotage, but the reality is that So many times we do this to ourselves and you might be right now. So wherever you’re at right now, I just want you to be aware and think about this. So I want to dive into four questions that you can ask yourself and journal over to see if you’re self sabotaging or not.

Question number one is, am I coachable? Am I willing to hear feedback without taking it personally? When I first started my virtual assistant business, I had all these ideas bouncing around in my head, how I wanted to structure my services, how I wanted to help other people start their own virtual assistant businesses, all these things. But I was thinking about it more from like my point of view and not really like what are people actually doing. Asking for. And so when I started working with a coach in my own business, she pointed out like, Hey, this, this might not be what people actually want. You need to ask them and get the feedback from them before you create anything. And that was hard for me to hear because I already had all these ideas. I was already working on some of them, and that would cause me to restart. And I really don’t want to listen. But then I realized, I hired this coach for a reason. I paid her for a reason. I need to be willing to hear her feedback and listen. And, you know, not everything she said was for me, but I needed to be willing to adjust my plans. And, Listen to that feedback that was coming from the outside that was actually going to really help me instead of just continuing down my own path That could have steered me wrong. So for you listening, are you willing to take advice from people and Maybe go down a different path than you were originally thinking and try something new even if it scares you or are you just stuck and you refuse to change and you’re just going to keep doing what you’re doing no matter whether it’s working or not.

So sometimes we have to get out of that comfort zone and do things that we didn’t want to do. But that’s okay. That’s how we grow our business. That’s how we learn new things. And that’s how we might discover. Where our zone of genius is when we might have thought it was something else. So the faster that you are willing to be coached By the people that God has placed in your life and the people you can trust The sooner you can get out of your own way and stop self sabotaging Question number two is am I so fixated on where I want to go That I’m missing what has been given to me or enjoying where I’m at now So I think one of the ways One of the biggest ways that we self sabotage is that we fixate on all the things that we want. We think things like, when I become this, I’m going to do this. Or, why don’t I have this? Or, she has all of this. This is what I want. This is where I want to be. We’re so hyper fixated on all of the when’s that we’re missing the right nows. And this is a huge form of self sabotage because there’s no joy in continually chasing and continually striving. Okay, the only true God given joy is in the right now journey. So you will have more success and more growth when you’re joyful in every little moment. You need to stop being so hyper fixated that you’re missing the blessing that’s already here to you. And right in front of you. 

All right, question number three is do you say yes to everything and everyone around you? I’m definitely guilty of this one. If you are constantly just running around trying to catch up 24 7 and saying yes to everyone, no matter whether you want to do it or not, you’re probably self sabotaging. This can also go the other way around. If you say no too often, and you’re like introverted to the point where you’re not open to any opportunity, you’re probably holding yourself back as well. So you need to ask yourself, what are your non negotiables? What is your list of things that you have to do to live the life you want to live and be a good human and support your family? And what is not that, and can be let go of, or delegated, or whatever. You don’t have to say yes and do everything. You don’t have to be super mom, super woman, super whatever. You can say no to things. 

All right, question number four is am I over learning and not taking action? Are you the type of person who buys 10 courses, finishes half of them, but doesn’t actually implement anything you learned from them? Are you over learning and then you’re afraid of taking action because it’s not going to be perfect. You think you’re new at it. You’re just going to hold back until you think you’ve learned 100 percent about whatever it is. You have to be able to find that beautiful balance and harmony between taking that big action and learning what the next right step is. So yes, you can get trained in some areas, but you don’t need to feel like you know everything about something before you take that action. Now, how do you do that? You can ask God. He’s the best mentor in your life. He will help you every step of the way, and he will help you take aligned action. You might take a misstep once in a while, but that’s okay. If you are trusting in him, he will help you get realigned. That is my mic drop moment, and I will just end this there.

So let me recap for you the four different questions you can ask yourself to see if you are self sabotaging in your virtual assistant business. Number one is, am I coachable? Am I willing to hear feedback without taking it personally? Number two is, am I fixated on where I want to go so much so that I’m missing what’s been given to me or what’s already right in front of me? Question number three is, do you say yes to everything and everyone around you? And question number four is, am I over learning and not taking action on what I’ve already learned? Alright, so if this is you, you can realign, figure out where you need to be. You might need help to do that. And if so, I would love to invite you to the Scaling Virtual Assistant Mastermind. This is going to help you get totally realigned in your business, focus on your priorities, set those clear boundaries, make sure your services are aligned with the life that you want to live, and Show up as the expert in your industries. Stop having that employee mindset with your clients and start showing up as the one who’s going to help them grow their business, expand their business. And the person that they can really trust to help them do those things, then the Scaling Virtual Assistant Mastermind is for you. So you can go to ariannavernier.com/mastermind. Check out everything that is a part of the program. Get your application in. I’m closing the doors on applications soon, so make sure if you’re interested in doing that, that you get that in ASAP. So again, that’s ariannavernier.com/mastermind, or you can find the link in the show notes. All right, y’all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I appreciate it so, so much, and we will see you next time.