Episode 208: Improving Your Mindset Around Quitting Teaching with Melissa Froehlich

Full Episode Transcription:

[00:00:00] Arianna: Hey friends. Welcome back to the Ditch the Classroom Podcast. I am so excited to bring to you a special guest I have today. Her name is Melissa Froehlich. She’s a business growth strategist, mentor, certified mindset coach, and podcast host of the Ready, Set, CEO podcast. So in today’s episode, she’s really gonna break down what exactly is mindset, how you can shift it if you’re really struggling with where your mindset is at, and how you can optimize your mindset when you’re looking to quit teaching and jump into a new space. So I’m really excited for you guys to learn from Melissa today, and we’re just gonna go ahead and jump right in.

[00:00:47] Arianna: Hey, Melissa, thank you so much for coming on the podcast with me today.

[00:00:51] Melissa Froehlich: Thanks so much for having me. I’m really, really excited.

[00:00:55] Arianna: Awesome. Well, I already kind of introduced you in the intro, but I would love for you to just tell us a little bit about you, maybe a little bit about your personal life and how you’ve gotten to where you are today.

[00:01:06] Melissa Froehlich: Okay, so I will try and keep this as short as possible. So I left corporate because I fell in love. I met a guy on eHarmony, the good old fashioned way, as I like to say, and he was moving across the country for his career. He is a fighter pilot in the United States Air Force, and so I gave up my career to follow him. Luckily, fast forward, all worked out. We’re married. We have a beautiful daughter. However, that is kind of what propelled me into this online entrepreneurialship journey. I was also teaching while I was still in corporate because I am actually a teacher by trade and I loved it. And so I was doing some online teaching, actually veterinary science for high school students out of Idaho. And so I kept that when I moved from Idaho to North Carolina as part of this move. However, that wasn’t enough to like, Totally sustained me. And I also knew that I needed to create something that was going to be, you know, portable as we were going to move a lot. And so I spent a lot of time with Google just trying to figure out what else was possible, right? Because I applied for tons and tons of corporate positions and I got turned down a lot for various reasons for being overqualified when they found out that I was associated with somebody in the military, because that meant that. You know, we weren’t necessarily going to be long-term. Yes, that’s illegal, but that’s a whole nother podcast for a different day. Anyway, I stumbled upon the concept of virtual assistant, and that is really where I started. And I started at $12 an hour. So I left a super cushy corporate job. And yes, I was doing a little teaching on the side, mostly because I loved it and it was fun. And then I got started. Really, really from the ground up. But I didn’t care because I knew that that was going to be like I was gonna get my foot in the door and I knew that I could learn quickly and I was just grateful. And so from there, my business kind of naturally, I transpired into a lot of different things. I went from virtual assistant to online business manager to strategist, especially for people with membership sites. My peers started noticing my growth. People started asking me to coach them. And so that is really the long story short of how I evolved into a full-fledged, multi six-figure coaching business that has sustained. Four CrossCountry moves since 2016, and a team of other military spouses who also move a lot. So that is kind of my journey in a nutshell.

[00:03:51] Arianna: I see a lot of similarities in our journey because I quit teaching and started working as a virtual assistant when my daughter was born, and that’s  allowed us to move all over. We moved. We were in Texas, now we’re in Ohio for my husband’s job. So we have a lot of similarities. And like you, a lot of people saw what I was doing and they’re like, how do I do that too? So that’s awesome. I love it.
[00:04:13] Melissa Froehlich: Yes. And I think that that’s like the true test of business sustainability is how well it survives a move. Right? Like when that happens, you’re like, okay, wow, all right. I’m, I’m way better off than I even thought.

[00:04:26] Arianna: Yeah. Anything that survives a move, you know, it’s good. Yeah. For marriage, you’re everything. So on this episode, we’re talking a lot about mindset because I know that that is something that a lot of teachers struggle with as they’re deciding whether to make the transition out of teaching. They’re just not really feeling confident in what skills they have out. Side of teaching that they can utilize in another business or in another job. And so I just really wanted to do a deep dive into this with you today because I know you’re certified Mindset coach. So could you just take a moment to explain to us what exactly is mindset?

[00:05:05] Melissa Froehlich: Absolutely. So I wanna preface that with, this is something that I didn’t prioritize in the beginning of my business journey because I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know how that played into business growth. So I’m super passionate about it because I. Firsthand experienced the transformation. When I started applying some of my efforts and energy into optimizing my mindset, I saw massive changes. And so it becomes one of the foundational pieces of business growth. And so truly, like I’m here today to talk to you about, like I’ve been in your shoes. I have walked a similar journey, and I’m telling you that this is. Really, really important. So mindset at the very, very basic definition is truly the set of beliefs that we hold, and then those beliefs impact our decisions and how we navigate challenges and opportunities. And those beliefs come from a variety of different things. Part of it, we are truly born with a portion of our mindset. It is ingrained into our, our DNA. There’s lots of evidence around, you know generational patterns that are passed down and how that impacts our mindset, how our mom’s pregnancy went, and what stress levels she had, and all kinds of things. So there’s that portion, and then as we. Journey from childhood into adulthood. All of the experiences, all the way that we are raised, the way that we experience school, the friendships we had, those are all shaping our mindset. And so today, right now, we all have our own unique mindset. And mindset is not singular meaning we don’t have like this big bubble around us that is specific to, to us as a whole. Mindset is smaller chunks, right? You might have a certain mindset when it comes to parenting and a different mindset when it comes to your relationship with money and another mindset when it comes to your confidence with growing your business. And so I really wanna be clear about that because that’s part of what we’ll we will probably dive into later, is understanding that mindset is compartmentalized as well. And so the good news is, you can change your mindset. You are not stuck with what you have acquired. Okay. And I think that that was the big aha moment for me, because nobody wants to find out like, here’s your mindset and here’s what you’re stuck with, and there’s nothing you can do about it. So that is really, really important to realize like no matter what your mindset is in, in whatever area you wanna dive into, you can change it. And I think that that was like just such a big exhale moment for me when I realized that.

[00:07:50] Arianna: Yeah, I agree. I think mindset is often really easy to overlook because we think we have to do the tangible things to grow our business. Go look for clients, go raise our prices, go learn new services. But if you’re still struggling with that imposter syndrome, feeling the who am I to do this? It’s really hard to keep pushing yourself to do more, do more, do more when you need to. Raise your confidence and your courage. And I agree with you a hundred percent that that is so important and that’s why I include that in the first unit in my program because yeah, mindset is such a huge, huge piece.

[00:08:31] Melissa Froehlich: Yes. And honestly, like it’s not even something that anybody, I. Talked about when I started out, it wasn’t, I didn’t even understand. It was truly in the airport, stumbling upon a book written by Carol Dweck, who is an expert in mindset and literally her book is called Mindset. And I started reading that and I was just like, oh my goodness. So many things about my own journey we’re making sense. So many things about my tendencies. And you know, you mentioned like we, we all wanna focus on the really masculine side of business, which is, okay, I need to do X, Y, and Z. In order to get clients, I need to build these systems. I need to do those things. Trust me, I am a strategist through and through. I love a good business growth strategy, but the best business growth strategy is nothing without having a mindset to support it. It’s like these two things have to go hand in hand. It’s the reason that so many people experience burnout. It’s the reason that so many people are, you know, just exhausted at the end of the day because they don’t have the mindset to support and sustain their efforts. And you mentioned confidence, right? We have to dial in our, our mindset in order to start feeling and experiencing confidence. And it’s just, It’s so important and I, I love that you are talking about this because I wish that the, you know, VA programs that I had experienced, like somebody had had spoken about that. I think that if you’re coming into the online space right now and you’re a teacher listening to this and thinking about leaving your traditional career like. The timing couldn’t be better. There’s people like Ariana who are able to say, Hey, I’m gonna give you all the how, but I’m also gonna give you this piece that’s gonna make the how a lot clearer and easier for you. And I’m as a mindset coach, just like cheering over here.

[00:10:28] Arianna: Awesome. Yeah. So I know that you talked about. How your mindset can shift over time. Can you elaborate on that a little bit more about how we can start to work towards changing our mindset?

[00:10:42] Melissa Froehlich: Yeah, so I think that mindset work always starts with curiosity, right? Just being curious about how you are speaking to yourself internally, how you’re responding to opportunities, what patterns are showing up for you. And one that I love to, you know, bring up because I think that all of us have some type of mindset challenges, or at least opportunities to optimize in the area of sales and marketing. So how do you feel when I say, okay, you’re going to need to actually market your business when you decide that you’re gonna go all in on becoming a virtual assistant? That’s exciting. And now let’s talk about marketing and sales. Most people have some type of a response to that, whether it’s sitting back in their chair or saying, I’m not good at sales, right? Like that’s one that always comes out. So curiosity around what are, how are you responding to things, right? Are you going to the place of, of a fear-based or scarcity mindset and looking for all of the reasons why something isn’t gonna work? Or are you somebody who. Actually is like, hmm, sales isn’t my strong suit, but I think I could learn how to be really good at it. Right? Which end of the spectrum do you fall? Are you somebody who has more of a tendency to have a growth or an abundance mindset about new things? I wanna be clear that neither is. Good or bad, meaning you are not good for having one, you are not bad. That’s not what this is about. This is about stepping into our CEO role and truly just being curious so that we know where we can do work. So once we’ve gotten curious and noticed that, okay, I have this tendency to really shy away from this. Then asking yourself simply, how would I like to show up? Instead, what would I like to believe instead? Right? What else could possibly be true here? And so looking at the other side of it and that simple practice right there is like starts to open up your way of thinking and you start to look for evidence to actually support that you have more confidence available to you than you might be seen in the moment. The other thing that I wanna say about this, this shift, right? When we start noticing our mindset and then we start desiring to change it is this isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight. It’s not gonna happen in a week. This is a journey. I still work on my mindset every single day to some degree. If you have not read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, like go buy that book, because again, talk about another like life-changing book for me. He talks about the, the concept of simple little shifts, getting 1% better day over day. And when we compound all of those things, then we experience big shifts. So when you look at your mindset and if it’s around sales and you’re like, wow, I’m somebody who really needs to, to lean into that and get more of a growth mindset or abundance mindset, and you’re like, huh. But I have so far to go. It’s not about that. It’s about the curiosity, the awareness, and then catching yourself simply when it’s time to sit down and doing sales and marketing and noticing that you’re gonna be like, oh, I hate sales. Okay, how do I start to change that narrative? What if I make a list of all of the times that somebody was actually really helpful to me in the sales process, and start to identify how that felt for me, and then realize I can emulate that. In my sales and marketing process. So again, this isn’t like I have a scarcity mindset when it comes to sales.

[00:14:25] Melissa Froehlich: I need to spend 46 hours in order to now have an abundance mindset. That’s not how it works. And we don’t, we’re, we’re not striving for that. We’re striving for the curiosity, the awareness, and then the tiny little shifts to start to move towards the other end of the spectrum to embrace more. Of that abundance or growth mindset and, and tell yourself I can learn new things, challenging things help me foster better skills, right? Instead of, Ooh, this is hard. I’m gonna shy away from it, and totally go in a different direction. Stopping yourself from going into old patterns and deciding what you would like to create as the path forward.
[00:15:11] Arianna: Yeah, I agree a hundred percent. And I, I love how you pointed out that these shifts in our mindset, they don’t happen like that. They, they’re not super fast. And I always say on this podcast, you listeners have probably heard me say this a hundred times. That, how do we eat an elephant? It’s not all at once. It’s, you know, one little bite at a time. And that’s not just applying to, you know, taking the steps to start your virtual assistant business. That’s also applying to shifting that mindset and allowing yourself to grow into that growth mindset of understanding like, maybe this is scary for me, but I can still do it. I’m not gonna like hold myself back.

[00:15:53] Melissa Froehlich: Yeah, and something else I’ll share just to be like really transparent, because that’s my style. I like to be like, listen, this is not, it’s not all, you know roses and cakewalk in the entrepreneurial journey, but it’s always worth it. When I stumbled upon that book in the airport and started to realize like, oh my gosh, mindset is a big chunk of this. I, I have a. A massive tendency for a scarcity mindset. That’s just how I’m wired. It goes, you know, to, we can tie this into being in Enneagram six, and there’s just a whole bunch of things that make sense, but I could have just stayed stuck and said, oh my gosh, I have so much work to do. I don’t even know how to get an abundance mindset, or start to even take, like, it felt so stifling and overwhelming, and instead I thought, I, I wanna figure this out. I want to give myself the space and the grace to embody this and didn’t use those words at the time, right? But I was like, I, I wanna figure this out. I feel like this is the missing link because I have all of the strategy and I have the work ethic and the figure outness and all of those things. So I did this simple thing. I’m a big, big fan of having a word of the year and my word of the year was abundance. I didn’t even understand what it meant to have an abundance mindset. That was something that I noticed from this book. I had noticed people use it in the online space, and I’m like, I don’t even understand that, but I want to understand that. So I’m gonna give myself a whole year to embrace this word. And so I had abundance on sticky notes on my computer. I bought a bracelet that had abundance stamped into it, and like that’s where I started. There was this word that I wanted to understand better because I knew that I didn’t naturally have. I just wasn’t the person that was like, oh, that was hard. How do I do it again? Like, and do it better next time? It was like, that was hard. I’m gonna go find something that I’m good at. Right? That was my tendency and I wanted to stop that pattern. I so I literally started with a bracelet and some sticky notes in a word, and that’s what took me on the journey of like, whoa, this work is transformational. That’s what then led me down the path of diving in and getting certified. And I continue to stack my, you know, arsenal of, of mindset work. I’m, I’m in a certification program right now for some other modalities. Like I love it for myself and I love it for the transformation that my clients get, but, start small and it will change the trajectory of what’s possible for you.

[00:18:27] Arianna: Yes, I totally agree. So you were talking about, you know, kind of the scarcity versus the abundance mindset. Can you define those a little bit more, cuz I know I was confused about those. Like you said you were when I first got into the entrepreneurial space. So I know my listeners are gonna be as well. Could you just kind of break that down for us?

[00:18:46] Melissa Froehlich: So the two kind of terms that get thrown around a lot and interchangeably is like growth versus fixed mindset or abundance versus scarcity mindset. At at the core it’s the same. So use whatever words you want, but somebody with. A fixed mindset, right? When we’re talking about that, they have the tendency to believe that we are born with a finite set of skills. That new skills can’t be developed. On the other end of the spectrum, somebody with a growth mindset. Believes that new skills can be developed with ease, right? With with hard work and with learning new information, that I can develop new skills. Now, it doesn’t mean that somebody with a growth mindset believes that everybody can be an astronaut. That’s not what it is. But here is, you know, an example of say that you decide that you wanna be a tech va, right? You wanna focus on tech. That sounds really exciting to you, and you start in on some type of skills-based training and it’s difficult for you to understand. Maybe it’s like WordPress, you’re learning some of the ins and outs of WordPress and like SEO optimization and you’re like, this is really hard. If you are in that fixed mindset, you’re gonna say, I, this is too hard for me. I want to go find something that feels easier. Versus if you have more of the growth or abundance mindset, you’re gonna say, Ooh, this is really challenging. I’m gonna have to dig in here and get some extra support, and really make sure that, you know, I get the information I need to be successful. So are you going towards things and believing that effort is going to build new skills? Or are you experiencing something and it’s hard or it’s scary, or it is unfamiliar and you wanna go away from that? Right. I’m gonna take the same example into sales. So somebody with a, an abundance mindset. When they hear like they’ve gotta do some discovery calls, they’re going to see discovery calls as an opportunity to have a conversation with other, you know, business owners and see if there might be a, a good fit to work together. Somebody with a scarcity mindset is going to go in and be like, I have to land this discovery call and it needs to. Result in a proposal and a paid invoice. Otherwise, I’ve failed. You see what I mean? Like there’s that. How are you approaching so they can be the exact same scenario, and how do you approach it? How are you speaking to yourself about it? Are you going in and saying, wow, discovery calls are not my strong suit, but I can’t wait to do more of them so I can build my skills instead of discovery calls aren’t my strong suit. I need to find another way to sell my services. That would be on that scarcity side. So it’s like, are you looking at opportunities? Do you believe that you can learn new things? Are you excited about feedback so that you can enhance or optimize? Or do you see feedback as the highlight of your failures? Right. That would be on that scarcity side of the spectrum. Is that helpful?

[00:22:02] Arianna: Yeah that is. I think a lot of times we get caught up in. What do, what do I have to, like I said before, what do I have to do to be more, to be better to, to just be more successful and. Again, that’s in that masculine and we need to sometimes step like this whole podcast episode is about and get back into that feminine of like raising our beliefs in ourself to be that, that confident, like you said, that confident CEO starting and and running our business. So what are some simple ways to optimize your mindset when you’re starting and growing a business?

[00:22:43] Melissa Froehlich: The thing that I like to tell everyone when they are just starting to be aware of mindset as a piece of this whole business growth initiative, as we’ll call it, is to just simply be curious, take a personal inventory of  how you are processing opportunities, how are you speaking to yourself? So at the end of the day, maybe just doing a quick little download and, and writing in your notebook and noticing, you know, I really found myself feeling overwhelmed by X, Y, and Z and telling myself I was never gonna master reels. Right? Whatever the thing is, I don’t, I don’t care what it might be. It’s gonna be unique to each individual person. And I was really proud of myself by doing. X, Y, and Z truly starting with curiosity because then we can notice the areas that we have tendencies to really be in that, that fixed or scarcity mindset, and that’s what we wanna work on first. And then realizing that mindset is layers, right? Thinking of that picture of an onion. We’re gonna peel back a lot of layers because whatever the thing is that. Is showing up for you is not likely the root cause. We will eventually get to that. Let me illustrate that a little bit more. I brought up the idea of sales calls and how measuring your success based on whether or not you end a discovery call in a sale, right? That’s not a measure of success. It’s truly not, because you could have had an incredible discovery call and then that person is gonna become a referral partner. They might not sign up right then, but they might in six months or whatever the thing is. But if you’re only measuring your success with how that exact moment went. You’re doing yourself a disservice, but why, where did that come from? Where did that drive come from to say like, it’s only successful if I get a client out of this discovery call? Well, for me, that was something I absolutely experienced in the early days and it, I became very competitive with myself in a totally overlooked whether or not it was about the ideal client, and am I partnering with the right person? It was, can I get this person to sign up for my  services? And so then here I got booked out with a whole roster of people that were 80% not my ideal client. So I caused an issue, but what was the root cause of that? That’s the whole reason I’m sharing this story. It was coming from a lot of money mindset issues that I didn’t even know that I had, but things like my dad’s saying to me, and I love my dad, and, but this would be back to like how he was brought up and on and on, but I wanna illustrate something very, very, like tangible things like money doesn’t grow on trees, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Like these, these sayings were ingrained in me. So I had this real fear going into sales calls that if I didn’t sign this person who was coming onto the Zoom call with me, then. I don’t know when somebody else might come and book a discovery call for me. So there was so much fear wrapped up in this that was driving my motivation to sign clients that were actually totally not right fits for me. So it was realizing that and catching myself and then saying like, Ooh, this is interesting. How would I like for this to go instead? What would I like to believe instead? Well, I’d like to believe that I have an endless amount of leads that are available to me, and if I consistently market from a place of integrity, that those people will continue to find me. But I had to like catch myself in this natural process that I was in and say, this is not actually getting me the results that I want. And it’s motivated by something that is very, very fear-based, that goes a lot of layers deep. And so how do I start to change that? And so truly it was writing affirmations and reminding myself that. Although I was really, really good at discovery calls, the goal was not to get just anybody to sign. It was to continue to look for right fit clients.  So we can talk about that all day, but I hope that that’s illustrating to, you know, you on the other end of this who’s listening to this podcast to say, oh, okay. I can see how this could really show up for me. And so truly that curiosity. Noticing the patterns, being curious about where’s this actually coming from and what would I like to create in terms of my reality moving forward and taking teeny tiny little steps to get there.

[00:27:29] Arianna: Yeah. To elaborate on your example, I’ve felt the same before with I do website design for my clients, and so whenever I don’t have a n new discovery call on the docket, I could feel myself getting anxious about that and like, oh, I’m not providing for my family. I’m not successful. And I had to retrain that mindset to just understand that it’s not about me and that God has the people I’m meant to serve out there for me, and I just have to be patient. And so working on that mindset piece of praying about my next client and just working on my affirmations, that’s what has really helped me feel more confident in the pursue of the next client. And yeah, like you said, not feeling like you have to take on just any client. You don’t wanna get paid by just anybody because if they’re not a good fit, it’s gonna be so incredibly draining on you and just not be fun. And we got into this business because we weren’t, we weren’t fulfilled as teachers. So I don’t want you to end up with clients that don’t fulfill you either.

[00:28:42] Melissa Froehlich: Yes, yes to all of that. Very much so.

[00:28:46] Arianna: So this has been so helpful and I think it’s gonna be really beneficial for my listeners to hear and just kind of start exploring where their mindset is at and how they can improve it. I would love to ask you a question that I ask every guest that comes on this show, and it says someone wanted to start their ditch to classroom journey, but they just felt too overwhelmed. What would you tell them?

[00:29:11] Melissa Froehlich: Having like been on this journey, I would say, I would tell you to take a moment and realize that you’re not alone and nothing is wrong with you for feeling overwhelmed that you are. Exactly where you’re meant to be. And then I would invite you to envision a year from now and really, really go out there and picture what it could look like when you actually ditch the classroom journey. And you are already functioning as a virtual assistant who’s providing for her family and is lit up and has white space on her calendar and can spend more time with your kids and you’re not feeling overwhelmed and rushed when it’s time to cook dinner and whatever the things are for you. I want you to go out there and sit with that picture of what is totally possible in terms of your, your reality, because that’s part of the mindset work is envisioning. Your goal as if you’ve already realized it, and then you start to take action as if you are already that person. There’s a whole exercise around becoming a wealthy woman and part of that is de deciding what she looks like. Then you start to act as if you are already her because you are, it is totally possible for you to realize the stream of becoming a virtual assistant and and providing for your family, and it’s scary. Okay, so you’re not wrong for feeling these things, so I really, really want you to take the time to visualize that, and how does she carry herself? She’s more confident. What is she doing to exude that confidence? How can you start doing small things right now? To show yourself that this is totally possible. So that visualization is incredibly important, and somebody who is very left brained and who is a massive strategist, that was hard for me to buy into it first. But when I started doing it, it’s amazing how much that helps. So I hope that you’ll try that, and I hope that it makes this journey a little bit easier for you.

[00:31:23] Arianna: Yes. That visualization piece is so helpful. I, I have used it and I can attest that it is very, very, very helpful. So this has been so great having you on with us today, Melissa. Where can people come and connect with you and just learn more from you?

[00:31:41] Melissa Froehlich: Thank you. Truly, this is near and dear to my heart. Obviously I am a big supporter of teachers being a teacher myself. So thank you for having me. You can find me on Instagram. Feel free to reach out to me in the dms. It really is me. It’s Melissa Froehlich underscore biz, and Ariana will have the links in the show notes because my last name is impossible to spell. I also have a private Facebook group, the Uplevel Lounge on Facebook. Or you can catch me. Every Monday we release a new podcast over on the Ready Set CEO podcast. So I do invite you to share takeaways or adjust anything that resonated with you from this podcast episode. I’d love to hear from you.

[00:32:24] Arianna: Perfect. And yes, we will have all of the links for all of that in the show notes so y’all can easily go and connect with Melissa. Well, it has been such a blessing having you on today, and I’m just so glad that we got to learn from you and dig into this topic that is so easily overlooked, but is so important.

[00:32:44] Melissa Froehlich: Thank you.

[00:32:46] Arianna: All right, y’all make sure you go and connect with Melissa and we will see you on the next episode.